•  Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.

     ----Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE.

•  Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how  are you?"

     --- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

•  No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

     --- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

•  Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!

     --- Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

•  A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

     --- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

•  No wonder you always go home alone.

     --- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

•  Beauty is only a light switch away.

     --- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

•  It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

     --- Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.

•  If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

     --- Revolution Books, New York, New York

•  Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light.

     --- The Janitor

•  What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.